I finally re-scheduled my endo appointment for the middle of March and of course, once again, I am nowhere near the weight loss goal that we had set at my last visit. And to make things worse right now, I re-injured my knee and can’t really do any physical activity because I am afraid that I am going to tear my ACL again. I will be making an appointment with an orthopedic doctor and hopefully there isn’t anything wrong and I will be able to get back to exercising like I was before. I can’t jog, and I can’t even go for a nightly walk anymore because it hurts too much to even walk a long distance, hell, a short distance at that. My only option right now is to just do sit ups and push ups at home and at least get some sort of exercise in. I might try to ride the bike a little bit, but pretty sure that is going to cause pain as well. My brother mentioned this to me, and I think he is 100% correct, my body is not used to dealing with this amount of weight, and I am at the highest weight level of my life, and my bad knee just can’t handle the weight and it’s due to happen some time soon until the weight is gone.
At times I really feel like an addict, like a fat addict. I always tell myself, “I can easily lose 15-20 pounds when I want to, I just have to get serious about it, so I’ll just eat this fast food and work it off when I decide to start”. These are the sort of things that I hear on Intervention or these other addiction shows. It is sad, but yet, I don’t do anything about it. Go ahead and search my blog, I have probably written nearly 50 posts about how I’m going to lose weight, but yet I still weight more than I ever did, and I don’t fit into half of the clothes that I own.
All that, and I haven’t even mentioned the affect it is having on my diabetes. Over the last year, I have probably had the worst blood sugars that I have had since I’ve been diabetic. I know this, yet I haven’t done much to change it. The last month, however has been a lot better, been able to keep them under 200’s a lot more frequently then before. I read blogs and tweets about people being upset or cursing out diabetes when they see 180 on their meter or CGM. I’m like…. WTF, when I see 180, I am happy, I’m happy that it is below 200. What does this mean? Does this mean that I have accepted high blood sugars, or that I am settling myself to levels that are not healthy and I should not be accepting of those numbers?
I’m not sure, all I know, is that this is a reality check. Cleaning out a closet of clothes in which 80% of the pants and shorts that are in there do not fit anymore is embarrassing. I will not be beat by all of this. I will succeed, and I will prevail.
I hear you, how many times have I said I’m going to lose weight, or log my blood sugars, or not snack after 8:00 pm, or…..??
What works for me is to set FUN goals, work towards those, and let them pull other goals along with them. I just finished a 1/2 marathon yesterday. I didn’t log calories, I logged miles. And I thought more about the impact what I was eating would have on my next run. Lost 5 lbs since December…not huge, but my pants fit again, and I feel like I can keep it off and perhaps lose a bit more before the next race. Best of all, I am not in that deprived (don’t do this, don’t eat that, must log this, must log that) mindset that has proven to be self defeating for me. We are all different in what motivates us, so keep searching until you find what that is for you!
I just realized you said you can’t do some of your fav exercises right now. Sorry! I didn’t mean to rub salt in that wound. Hopefully the doc will be able to help you find things that will not put too much stress on your knee. Would swimming be an option for you? Maybe take swimming lessons or join a swim group if you already are good at it? I took up swimming a while ago to train for a triathlon and went from hating it to loving it.
Swimming is probably the best option. The community that I live in has a heated pool so I can go into the pool even after the sun goes down. That’s one of the perks of living in Florida I guess, I can go swimming at night in March, ha. Swimming is one of the things that I did during my physical therapy when I first tore my ACL almost 10 years ago. Thank you for the advice and encouraging words.
You can do it and succeed, Chris. Just one day – one walk – at a time. Know it seems like that’s easier said that done, but you can do it. Not that it’s the same, but my dad (non d) was in a similiar position a couple years ago. He had a massive “pot belly” and his knee couldn’t support the weight, and it did cause pain to walk a distance. He set out to do short walks around the blog for a week, EVERY NIGHT. Then, he expanded the distance gradually and got up to a couple miles EVERY NIGHT. Sure, it took a while. But he lost an incredible amount of weight, was incredibly more healthy and happier. It also helped that he and my mom (who is a longtime T1 since the age of 5) did this, and she lost lots of weight too. They ate better and limited carbs (which still kinda makes me cringe, as I’m a carb-lover), but they did wonders. Anyhow, you may be settling in with higher BGs. I went through that in college – and it just comes with the territory of being in that rut. Slowly but surely, my friend. But “Baby Steps,” as Bill Murray said in “What About Bob?” Best your way, bud.
Mike, always know I can count on you for the encouraging and motivating words. I appreciate it. I always get bogged down with the end results and not fitting into those jeans anymore and shirts, but I just need to take it step by step…. literally. Which leads me to think of this – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y42dFQizJ8