Wow, it’s been a long time.
I almost forgot how to sign in and post a new blog on this site.
I have been gone for a while, a long while. I disappeared from Twitter, the blog, the podcast I started last year, Instagram for a while and anything diabetes related.
So, why come back? Why now? And why did I leave?
Leaving was not something that I planned, but I knew it was coming for a while.
I was becoming so drained by all the negativity on every single post that I posted or tweet that I made. If my tweet or post did not align 100% with people’s views, they would just go on a full blown attack on me.
I guess that’s just the society we live in now, unfortunately in my opinion. Everyone’s opinion can be expressed, which is great, but you are not allowed to express an opinion that differs from someone else without being attacked.
And, I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I couldn’t deal with people that woke up everyday looking for a fight, looking to just be negative and looking to just attack people for every little thing.
You could do 10 things and 9 of them be great, but the 1 that may not be perfect, just gets attacked. And I was sick of it….I am still am, but as I said above, it’s the society we live in now. It is our new reality.
I just needed a break from it.
A Diagnosis Changed it All
Then, in February, our lives changed forever. My daughter was diagnosed with Type 1. At first, it made me want to advocate even more and do even more. And then the double alerts started going off, one for me, one for her. Then she started on a Dexcom and we had two Dexcoms to change.
Then she started on an OmniPod and then we had two OP changes. Next thing you know, it was all day, every day mixed with alerts. Not managing my diabetes to the fullest because I’m too concerned with a 4 year old.
It became overwhelming, very fast.
I had nothing in me to write about the disease. For the first time in a long time, I had a totally different hatred towards this disease.
Add Another Child to the Mix
In the summertime, we welcomed another baby girl into our family.
No Sleep + Two PWDs + Newborn + Buying a House + No Sleep + Anxiety = Total Disaster!
I started to have multiple panic attacks every day. My blood pressure was rising (I had to increase my meds). I was not able to function throughout the day because I would become lightheaded and very foggy for hours straight. I couldn’t concentrate on conversations because I felt like I was just floating.
I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t eating well. I wasn’t managing my own diabetes well. I was constantly worrying about my daughter’s T1D. I was worrying about our newborn. I was worrying about whether our new home would close.
The absolute last thing I needed at that time was to be writing about all of this and then getting attacked by people.
So, I stepped away.
I wanted nothing to do with diabetes other than having to go through the motions of doing what I needed to do to survive each day and keep my daughter alive.
The Message
And then one day I got a message from someone. They told me that they used to read my blog for 7 years when they were first diagnosed. Then, later on they ended up having a kid and my articles about my fears when I first found out my wife was pregnant helped them get through their pregnancy.
Then their child was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes as well. And my post last year talking about my daughter’s diagnoses helped them realize that everything is going to be OK.
That message started to drive me again to know that I couldn’t just give up on everything that I have been doing for the last 10-11 years.
And with that long story, I’m back.
So, Hello, Again.
Congratulations on the recent addition Chris. Hmm negative feedback? Naw not on a diabetes web site. Well welcome back, good to have you back.