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hello again - diabetes blog

Hello, Again

Chris Stocker 1 Comment

Wow, it’s been a long time.

I almost forgot how to sign in and post a new blog on this site.

I have been gone for a while, a long while. I disappeared from Twitter, the blog, the podcast I started last year, Instagram for a while and anything diabetes related.

So, why come back? Why now? And why did I leave?

Leaving was not something that I planned, but I knew it was coming for a while.

I was becoming so drained by all the negativity on every single post that I posted or tweet that I made. If my tweet or post did not align 100% with people’s views, they would just go on a full blown attack on me.

I guess that’s just the society we live in now, unfortunately in my opinion. Everyone’s opinion can be expressed, which is great, but you are not allowed to express an opinion that differs from someone else without being attacked.

And, I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I couldn’t deal with people that woke up everyday looking for a fight, looking to just be negative and looking to just attack people for every little thing.

You could do 10 things and 9 of them be great, but the 1 that may not be perfect, just gets attacked. And I was sick of it….I am still am, but as I said above, it’s the society we live in now. It is our new reality.

I just needed a break from it.

A Diagnosis Changed it All

Then, in February, our lives changed forever. My daughter was diagnosed with Type 1. At first, it made me want to advocate even more and do even more. And then the double alerts started going off, one for me, one for her. Then she started on a Dexcom and we had two Dexcoms to change.

Then she started on an OmniPod and then we had two OP changes. Next thing you know, it was all day, every day mixed with alerts. Not managing my diabetes to the fullest because I’m too concerned with a 4 year old.

It became overwhelming, very fast.

I had nothing in me to write about the disease. For the first time in a long time, I had a totally different hatred towards this disease.

Add Another Child to the Mix

In the summertime, we welcomed another baby girl into our family.

No Sleep + Two PWDs + Newborn + Buying a House + No Sleep + Anxiety = Total Disaster!

I started to have multiple panic attacks every day. My blood pressure was rising (I had to increase my meds). I was not able to function throughout the day because I would become lightheaded and very foggy for hours straight. I couldn’t concentrate on conversations because I felt like I was just floating.

I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t eating well. I wasn’t managing my own diabetes well. I was constantly worrying about my daughter’s T1D. I was worrying about our newborn. I was worrying about whether our new home would close.

The absolute last thing I needed at that time was to be writing about all of this and then getting attacked by people.

So, I stepped away.

I wanted nothing to do with diabetes other than having to go through the motions of doing what I needed to do to survive each day and keep my daughter alive.

The Message

And then one day I got a message from someone. They told me that they used to read my blog for 7 years when they were first diagnosed. Then, later on they ended up having a kid and my articles about my fears when I first found out my wife was pregnant helped them get through their pregnancy.

Then their child was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes as well. And my post last year talking about my daughter’s diagnoses helped them realize that everything is going to be OK.

That message started to drive me again to know that I couldn’t just give up on everything that I have been doing for the last 10-11 years.

And with that long story, I’m back.

So, Hello, Again.

Life of a Diabetic Has Been Busy

Chris Stocker 2 Comments

The life of this diabetic has been crazy busy over the last few days.  This new work schedule is finely starting to feel normal, and I must admit, I actually like the schedule.  Let’s take a look at how my new day goes:

7:00 a.m. – Alarm goes off

7:15 a.m. – I actually wake up

7:15 a.m. – test blood sugar

7:20 a.m. – coffee, breakfast, shower

8:00 a.m. – hitting the road for my commute

8:45 a.m. – get to work and test sugar again to see how breakfast was holding up

11:00 a.m. – test sugar to see if correction was good

12:30 p.m. – test sugar because it is lunch time soon

2:30 p.m. – test sugar to see how good my bolus was

5:30 p.m. – test sugar once more because I am getting ready to leave at 6 to drive home

7:00 p.m. get home from work and go for a quick walk

7:30 p.m. – get home from walk, start to cook, eat and cleanup dinner

9:00 p.m. log into blog, check out comments, attempt to respond to twitter comments

10:00 p.m. – check sugar

12:30 a.m – laying in bed trying to fall asleep to start the same thing over the next day.

There is not one time throughout the day that I hate that busy schedule.  I absolutely love it.  Living a schedule like this with type 1 diabetes or any disease in that matter can start to wear on your health if you are not taking care of yourself properly.  I try to force myself to test my blood sugar during these times because I know that I will forget to do it.  I set the alarm on my pump now, I have never used that alarm before in my life.  I think it might annoy my co-workers, but nobody has said anything yet.  They are all usually listening to music anyway, so I don’t think they even notice.

Tonight I am going to be up later because I have a lot of other things to take care of, lots and lots of e-mails I haven’t responded to in almost 3-4 days.  So if you e-mailed me, sorry I will get to it tonight, promise.

Time for that energy drink.

Have a great Friday tomorrow everybody.

What is a Normal Life with Diabetes

Chris Stocker

The other day somebody was talking to me about my blog and I mentioned that it’s a blog about how I live normally with diabetes.  They then asked me, what does that mean?  What does living normally with diabetes mean?  Well, I had never been asked that question before, but I thought about it and here is my answer.  This is how I live normally with type 1 diabetes.

I’ve spoken about my life before diabetes on here a few times, but it’s 99.9% about my life now, which obviously includes being a diabetic.  When I was diagnosed 6 years ago, I knew my life would change, but I wasn’t sure how, and I didn’t know how much.  Living normally with diabetes means to me that I live a normal life, just like anybody else, except that I have diabetes.  This means that I have some additional things that I must do.  For instance, I go to the gym, well try to, just like anybody else, except I must test my blood sugar before, during, and after.  I go out to dinner just like anybody else, except I pull out my insulin pump, count my carbs, and intake some insulin.

Insulin pumps, testing strips, blood glucose meters, IV preps, lancets, lancing devices, reservoirs, infusion sets, this is normal to me.  Therefore, I’m living a normal life with diabetes.

Caring Diabetic Online Community

Chris Stocker 8 Comments

Over the last few days, even months if we go back a little further, it has really dawned on me how caring and how awesome the diabetic online community is.  I have been dealing with an issue with CVS pharmacy this past week and so many of you on Twitter and commenting on my blog were really helpful and gave some great advice.  The advice was great, but what was even more awesome was how willing everybody was to send me strips because I was in a bad situation with not having any.  Several people sent me e-mails and asked if I needed them to send me strips.  You know who are you for those that did.

I am part of a few other online communities and we help each other with information about how to do something in WordPress or some new social media tips or affiliate tax information, but I haven’t had anybody ever ask me if I needed them to send me testing strips or something else to help me manage my diabetes or my business, anything.

I just want to take this time quickly and say thank you.  Thank you to all of you.  And that is it.

Thanks.

Life of a Diabetic Weekend Recap Vol 4

Chris Stocker

Man did this weekend fly by or what!  I don’t think that I got a single thing accomplished at all.  Friday started out with some high blood sugars during the day and some stress.  That’s why there was no Fired Up Friday last week.  I test drove a Ford Edge on Thursday night and fell in love with it.  I have wanted one of those cars for a long time and finally found the perfect one I was looking for.  It didn’t go so well on Friday when I tried to get the financing for it.  Since I have had a credit score, I guess dating back 7-8 years ago, I have had almost perfect credit, about 730 score ( I don’t mind sharing it when it was that high, ha).  Unfortunately, back in November when I lost my job, my credit score took a little dip.  So, ultimately, I was not able to get the financing needed for the car.

That was very stressful, so my blood sugar spiked like crazy.  I finally got it back under control around 5 o’clock or so when Amanda and I headed out for dinner and to a different casino then last week.  I had a turkey club with some coleslaw and my sugars went high by the end of the night again.  I’m not sure what caused the spike, maybe my diabetes?  I won money at the casino, so that was good.  And if you have been reading my last few weekend recaps, I’m not addicted to gambling, I’ve just been feeling lucky.

Saturday morning was just lying around doing nothing.  My girlfriend’s older brother and I played a little wiffle ball golf in the morning.  Basically we took a basketball and just threw it in the air and wherever it landed, that was the whole and first one to hit their wiffle golf ball into the basketball one the hole.  We played 9-holes and unfortunately, I pulled a Phil Mickelson and choked on the last hole.  We all then went down to the Panthers game last night against the Buffalo Sabres.  Now, let me just say this, if you are from Buffalo, oh well.  I come from Philadelphia, so I know all about being an obnoxious fan, Philly fans are the best in the world, HOWEVER, Buffalo Sabre fans are just annoying!  I can’t stand people that have an excuse for everything, like the refs made that call to keep the game close, that was a lucky shot, but when you’re team scores it was an amazing shot and when the other team gets a penalty it was a great call.  Just shut up ok?

Moving on.  Sunday was another Panthers game, back to backs are rough.  I also wanted to watch the race and some of the Michigan St basketball game as well.  I had so much laundry to do and work to catch up on as well from the weekend and not doing anything.  Sunday is usually my planning day.  I get out my calendar and pen and start outlining the whole week.  Client projects, blog ideas for a few of the blogs I write, to dos, etc.

Well, happy Monday to everybody and have a great day.

Refilling a Reservoir at Work

Chris Stocker

Yesterday I had to refill my insulin cartridge at work and it made me think about a couple of things.  First, what reaction am I going to get from people who walk by? Why do I have two vials of insulin in my laptop bag and both have 2 refills left in them?  Why is this thing so damn loud when it is priming?

Well here were my answers to all of those questions.

Reaction from People

First and foremost, I don’t  really  care what their reaction is to it.  I am doing something that I need to do in order to survive, so get over it.  Do I look at you weird when you breathe or when you drink water or when you eat?  No, didn’t think so, so keep on walking.  But I do find it funny what most people say.  The most common phrase I hear is, “What are you shooting up or something?”  Some people mean it in a sense of am I shooting up insulin, but I think we all know what most others are referring to, obviously a joke.  I usually say, “Well, I’m already high, so I need to shoot up some more.”  That is when the other person doesn’t get the insulin and high blood sugar reference and thinks that I am just making a drug comment back to them.

What kind of reaction do you get?

Two Vials of Insulin

When it comes to insulin, I try to have only one open vial at a time, but that tends to not happen very often.  The reason is usually that I open one and put it in my laptop bag because that thing goes with me to work, home, and travel.  That way the insulin will be with me at all times.  Then there is usually one on my desk at home, maybe it’s empty and I forgot to throw it away, so when I see it, I think that I just finished one and go and open another one.  As soon as I used it to refill the reservoir, I throw it in my laptop bag and now I have two opened in the same location.

Do any of you do this as well, or am I just being a bad diabetic?

Loud Priming

The last part of what was going through my head was why this insulin pump is so damn loud when it is priming.  It beeps so many times, and it is extremely loud, so when my co-workers are working, they hear it beeping and then all the questions start.  Normally I don’t mind the questions, but when I am busy and trying to get work done so I can get home and start working on some other clients work, I’m not usually in the mood to lecture on diabetes.

Do you all refill right at your desk or do you go to restrooms or cars, or somewhere else to take care of it?

Fired Up Friday – Diabetes Disrespect

Chris Stocker

Today’s Fired Up Friday is all about Diabetes Disrespect.  We have all seen it and heard it and have reacted in different ways to it.  There is a lot of disrespect to diabetics these days.  I don’t think that any of it is intentional, but it still happens.  I am going to just touch on three specific areas where I think people with diabetes are disrespecting: uneducated doctors, you have diabetes because your fat, and donations.

Uneducated Doctors

Just last week I had to educate an ENT specialist on diabetes.  Earlier in the year I had to give a quick lesson to a nurse at a CVS Minute-Clinic.  Do I expect every type of doctor to be as knowledgeable as my endocrinologist?  No, of course not.  But do I expect them to have a general understanding of diabetes and know about it?  Absolutely!

No matter what kind of doctor you are or what your area of expertise is, you should have an understanding of diabetes.  Don’t ask me if I’m type 1 and then ask if I take insulin, that’s an insult that you don’t know that.  I don’t feel comfortable with a doctor treating me that doesn’t know much about diabetes, because my treatment may need to be different because of my type 1 diabetes.

Diabetes just doesn’t get the respect

Fat and Diabetes

Have you ever heard somebody say that you have diabetes because you’re fat?  They’re not saying it in a mean way, but they just think that you get diabetes because you’re fat.  This is from a lack of knowledge that they have and how diabetes is portrayed in Hollywood and in magazines and news shows.  Yes, I am overweight, by about 30-40 pounds, but that is not the reason that I have diabetes.  I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was in the best shape of my life.  I was playing college football at the time when my blood sugar was in the 500-600’s for 2 straight months.  Now, I find it tough to lose weight with diabetes because every time that I exercise I have to end up eating Skittles or some sort of candy just afterward to get my blood sugar levels normal again.

I’m sick of people thinking that all diabetics have their diabetes because they are fat.  Sometimes I want to say to them what little kids in school say, “I can lose weight and not be fat, but you can’t do anything to change ugly!”, but I take the higher road and just try to explain to them that my weight did not cause diabetes, if anything, I feel that my diabetes caused my weight, (but I also think that is a poor excuse at times as well).

Diabetes is the Rodney Dangerfield of diseases; just get no respect I tell ya.

Non-Profits

There are a lot of diseases out there that deserve to have funds donated to them.  I think there are a lot of non-profits and organizations out there that are a waste of money and the funds can be spent better elsewhere, but I am not one to judge where you want to spend your money.  But I have heard from way too many people too frequently on why they have chosen to donate money to other disease, primarily cancer, rather than diabetes.  I’ll give an example of this that is happening now.  There is a local event coming up for cancer and a lot of my friends and family have donated to this event, and at the same time I will be asking for donations in about a week for the JDRF walk in Boca Raton, FL.  Some people just gave $20 to cancer, and they won’t have anything to give to diabetes.  When I asked somebody why they would donate to cancer and not to diabetes they said because, cancer is “such a horrifying and ugly disease.”  I have family members with cancer and who have passed away due to cancer, so I support funding for cancer research, let’s get that straight right now.  However, to tell me that my disease is not horrifying and ugly really pisses me off.

You don’t see the things that are going on inside of my body.  I can’t put that on a nice little brochure and collect money from you to help find a cure, so it is tough to explain to people the important of these funds.  So, since you are not able to physically see my disease affecting my body and the way I look, than you are not going to donate to help find a cure?

These are just a few reasons that I feel that diabetes is disrespected.  Do you agree / disagree?  Are there more reasons that you have that I didn’t mention?

Not So Great Life of a Diabetic Lately

Chris Stocker

If you follow The Life of a Diabetic on Twitter, then this post is not going to sound like much of a surprise to most of you.  My blood sugars have been crazy over the past 2 months, even 3.  I haven’t seen my endocrinologist since October, which I was seeing her every month for 6 straight months so I can make changes quite frequently.  There are multiple reasons for these higher blood sugars, but today they come to an end.  Actually, yesterday they did, I didn’t have a blood sugar over 170 all day.  Screw diabetes!  Let’s get into some of the reasons.

  1. Diet – Or should I say lack there of.  I haven’t been following any sort of diet at all.  It’s just been eat whatever is made for dinner, or eat wherever Amanda and I feel like going out to eat.  When I did go out to eat, I wasn’t ordering anything healthy, plus I would eat Amanda’s leftovers instead of taking them home, sometimes.  Well my solution to this has been portion control.  I haven’t been eating too much healthier, but I have been eating less, only one serving.  At night, I then am eating a PB&J and that holds me off and also keeps my blood sugars stable.
  2. Exercise – Once again, lack there of.  The portion control helps some, but added exercise would make things a lot better and also help me lose more weight, which means less insulin, which means the longer I have to wait before I buy more of it.  I have gone back to doing little things to get more exercise, that you may not even think about.  For example, when I did laundry last night, instead of bringing upstairs all of my dress shirts, I walked them up one at a time and walked up and down the stairs about 10-15 times.  I park a little further from the store and make myself walk a further distance.  These little things will add up to big things for me.
  3. Lack of Testing – I know that I am running low on strips, so I have been testing less.  I always told myself that I wouldn’t do that, but I am.  I still test 4-5 times a day, so it’s not that bad, but I don’t catch the guys until it is too late.  I can’t pick up on trends of my blood sugar that way.  I will be getting a full 90 day supply of strips next month, so I have enough to get my by until then.  The only problem is that I’m not so sure how accurate the meter is because I don’t have control solution.  And I must say, I was a big fan of Home Diagnostics products (True2Go, TrueRead etc.), but lately as much as I have been complaining about their product, I haven’t heard a single thing from them.  Where are you on social media and tracking your company brand?  Bad, bad, bad job.  In fact, 3 of their competitors have contacted me because I was tweeting about not liking HDI.  (Being a social media consultant, I tend to prefer businesses that are doing social media right).
  4. Max Bolusing – Well, since I haven’t been testing, and then I haven’t been eating healthy, and I haven’t been counting carbs, what else am I going to do?  Max bolus of 25.0 and then eat to the bolus or if my sugar was high, which I’m assuming it was over the past couple of months, then that would include the correction bolus that I would need.

This is not something that I am proud of at all, in fact, I am quite embarrassed by it.  But, what can I do about it now?  I can’t change the past couple months, but what I can do is continue to get better at doing the right things and keep moving forward.

Life of a Diabetic Weekend Recap

Chris Stocker

First, I want to thank you all for your feedback, RT’s, and comments from the Fired Up Friday post about drink options.  I am glad to hear that I am not just being a drama queen (or would it be king?) and overreacting to something like this.  Anywho, the weekend was great!  It of course went by way too fast, but I accomplished a lot.  Friday night, Amanda and I were going to see that Shutter Island movie but decided to wait a week or two so there is not as many people there when we go to see it.  I hate being in a crowded movie theater, I don’t like tight spaces.  Plus, since I’m diabetic, my blood sugar can get high as we all know and I will need to run to the bathroom a million times during the movie.  Since, we decided not to go that night, we didn’t do anything.  My blood sugars were still a little high all night Friday, in the 175-190 range.

Saturday morning was the WordCamp Miami conference, so I was up at 6:00 a.m.  I got my stuff ready the night before because I knew I would forget either my meter, or extra insulin, or a couple extra infusion sets, etc.  The conference was a lot of fun and I learned a lot more about WordPress then I initially knew going down there, so it was well worth it.  If you are interested in that type of geeky, web stuff as well, then read my other blog as well, Chris Stocker, Inc. because I don’t talk too much about on it here.  Saturday night we headed up to West Palm Beach for the Opening Night of the Waterfront.  It was basically just some streets blocked off and lots of food, beer, live entertainment.  I’m not so sure about the exact history of it, but I gave you a link if you’re interested, but it was fun.  Amanda and I ate at some Mexican place and the insulin didn’t seem to take, so that type 1 diabetes thing I have made the sugars a little high, about 275.

Sunday morning was another little community thing that Amanda, her brother, and myself went to.  It was in Lake Worth, FL and it was some outdoor thing where artists and kids were drawing on the street with chalk, it was actually pretty damn cool.  I’m having trouble with my camera uploading things, so I will post some of the pictures tomorrow from it.  Other than that, it was time to go home and get to work.  I have a few blogs that I am almost finished designing for clients and a couple of other websites that are still in process.  I’m getting a little stressed from the work, but after these couple projects are finished it will slow down because there aren’t any other large projects lined up right now, but I prefer to be extremely busy like that.  The busier I am, the more of these I drink.Rip It Sugar Free Energy Drink - Diabetes

Finally, for the bad news.  My ear is still clogged up pretty bad, so I am going back to the doctor on Tuesday to just make sure that I don’t have an infection or something else worse going on.  I found a place that will accept the insurance, so it won’t be as much money to pay for this visit.  I really appreciate all your help and suggestions.  The Neti Pot worked miracles, but it doesn’t keep it un-clogged, it always seems to clog back up after I use it, or sometimes it doesn’t even work.  It’s just becoming frustrating right now.  But, just another obstacle to overcome when you have a life of a diabetic

Fired Up Friday – Limited Drink Options at Restaurants

Chris Stocker 6 Comments

Every time I go to a restaurant, I tend to get a little mad.  There may be a few reasons why, but primarily it is because I may not be in the mood to drink water, diet Coke / Pepsi or un-sweetened iced tea.  But, guess what, those are the only options.  With so many diabetics in this country don’t you think we deserve to have just as many options of beverages than people who are not living with diabetes have?  Not only people with diabetes, but all the people who are trying to diet and make the right choices when eating out have minimal choices.

I have always wanted to start a petition to force restaurants to have more options.  I’ve been told by people that if I want diet soda then I probably shouldn’t be eating there anyway.  Let’s take an example of this.  If I walk into a fast food joint because I’m in the mood for it, and order some unhealthy greasy burger and fries, ok let’s be realistic, 2 burgers, but I order a diet coke.  Should I be looked at weird because I’m getting a diet coke to go along with my 1,500 calorie meal?  No, not at all because I am choosing to take about 10 units less of insulin by drinking the diet coke.  Therefore, I should have a few more options of drinks.

Let’s take a look at some of the people who are doing it right and why I will choose their place to eat over others.

  • Chick-Fil-A – I will spend more money for a chicken sandwich here than other places because they offer sugar free lemonade and diet Dr. Pepper.  I love diet Dr. Pepper, it is the only diet soda that I used to drink before I was even diabetic, because I can’t taste the difference in the two.
  • Quiznos (some) – Why would I rather pay an extra dollar for my footlong?  Easily, they offer un-sweetened, Sprite Zero, diet Mtn. Dew, and various bottled beverages that are zero carb or diet.
  • Pei-Wei – There is more than one reason why I enjoy this place, but I spend more money on their food, for one the quality of food is better, but also because they have two different flavors on un-sweetened tea, they also have Fresca, which is a great alternative to diet Sprite all the time.

These are just a few of the places that have won my customer loyalty all because they offer drinks other than diet coke and un-sweetened iced tea.  If there are any restaurant owners / managers out there reading this right now, did you just read that?  I have been won over by places because of their beverage options, not because your burger is a ¼ larger, or you have extra sauce or your foot long is only $5.00(even though you charge almost $3.00 for a combo which ends up being more expensive than your competition, I see your trick).  I understand that I am in the minority here and you have to make business decisions based upon the majority.  Put, are you really going to spend that much extra money by eliminating 1 flavor or regular soda and switching it out with diet?  I doubt not.

I have gone as far as bringing in my own drink into a restaurant because they don’t have a type of drink that I like.  They didn’t have a problem with it, they just charged me for the cost of purchasing a drink of theirs.

How do you all feel about this?  Am I just over-reacting to this situation?