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The Feeling of Guilt at 3:00 AM

Last week I posted a VLOG episode that started out with a 3:00 AM low blood sugar that required my wife to go downstairs to get some apple juice for me. Unfortunately, the same thing happened last night. I woke up around 3:15 AM to use the bathroom and I instantly started to feel lightheaded, sweating a lot and just discombobulated (first time I ever typed that word).

I instantly staggered out to my work desk where I keep a bag of Starburst Jelly Beans (thanks after Easter sales). But they just weren’t doing the job.

As I sit on the edge of the bed trying to not make a lot of noise with the bag of jelly beans because I don’t want to wake up my wife, I hear her say, “Do you need some juice?” My initial thought in my head was, “absolutely I need some because this is a bad low.” But, then that feeling of guilt sets in. The feeling that I don’t want my wife to have to get out of bed, go all the way down the stairs to the kitchen, fill up a glass of juice, bring it back upstairs and then have to try and fall back asleep. I’d much rather her just lay there and sleep.

So, I first answered her with a, “no, I’ll be fine. The jelly beans should do the job.” But I ate 1/3 of the bag already and I’m not feeling any better. I need something to react quick! Juice is what’s going to do it. But, I still don’t want her to have to wake up and get out of bed, this is my low blood sugar, not hers.

starburst jelly beans for low blood sugarsThen I somehow started to do some basic math in my head. I had my pump off for dinner because I needed to do a site change and didn’t feel like doing it until after I took a shower. So, I took an injection for dinner, then took an injection for a snack and a correction and then put my pump back on and didn’t adjust my temp basal at all. So, I realized I had a lot of insulin in my body and I needed to feed it some sugar.

So I finally gave in, “actually, I’m going to need some juice, I’m sorry. Can you please get me some? Sorry”

If you could see the speed of which my wife jumps out of bed to get downstairs to get my juice, you would think she’s starring in the new Wonder Woman movie.

As she came in with the juice, Kool-Aid last night, I said thank you and sorry again. Her response is always, “stop saying sorry, it’s fine.”

But it’s not.

I always have the same feeling of guilt every time this happens in the middle of the night. If I can make it downstairs myself, I will, but some times these lows have me extremely light headed, it’s extremely dark, 2 baby gates to step over, it can be tricky for someone fighting with a low.

I feel a sense of guilt every time I wake my wife up bc of middle of the night low blood sugars Click To Tweet

Even after I’m starting to feel better (which usually means I’m going to go high soon because I over-corrected, which I always do in the middle of the night), she doesn’t fall back asleep until she knows that I’m good to go.

This is what it’s like to have a life partner that’s with you through thick and thin and there for you for every low and also my short-tempered highs as well (we’re still working on those situations).

I’m not sure the guilt will ever go away, but the guilt quickly turns into thankfulness and appreciation.

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Low Blood Sugars Affect Us All

Getting a low blood sugar in the middle of the night really does affect all the people in the house.  I have had a low blood sugar a few nights in a row and it sucks when I do because I feel bad because it wakes Amanda up.  She’s a teacher and with school starting back up again, she needs to get up around 5:30 – 6:00 and when I wake up at 2-3 a.m. with a low blood sugar making noise to get candy or to go out into the kitchen to get some OJ, she always wakes up and stays awake a bit to make sure that I am feeling ok.

This low blood sugar then affects her sleep and trust me, she needs her sleep.

During wedding week when all of my family was here I had a low blood sugar at my house before we were leaving to head over to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.  At this time, I had my parents, grandmother and her husband, and a few others in my house.  I tested and mentioned that I was having a low blood sugar and I needed some juice.  My mother and grandmother kicked into action real quick.  Mother got the juice, grandmother made a half of sandwich.  Then for the next 30 minutes they were both asking me if I felt fine, was everything ok, did I need something else, etc.

This is yet another way that shows how much diabetes affects not just the person living with it, but those that surround them and I’d like to give a big thank you to all of those people.

Manually Logging my BG’s

The other day I decided that it was time to manually log my blood sugars again, along with the calorie and carb intakes.  I feel that by writing them down, I am able to hold myself more accountable for them and I am a bit more aware of the numbers and certain trends.  When I don’t log, I may know that my sugars have been trending high, but I don’t know exactly why or what the trends are. Read More

How Low Can You Go?

Unfortunately, I am not talking about doing the limbo, I am talking about blood sugars.  The reason that I am writing this is because last night brought about the lowest blood sugar that I have had in my 9 years of having diabetes.  At least, the lowest that I have recorded by testing my blood sugar.  I have been doing a lot of testing with my insulin to carb ratios and basal rates and measuring out the food instead of just guessing, so I am going low a lot lately.  Last night was a bad one.

After eating dinner and even having a bowl of Frosted Flakes as a snake before bed, I tried to go to sleep around 10:30-11:00, which is way too early for me.  But don’t worry, I didn’t stay asleep for very long, because I was woken up at about 1:30 a.m. with a low blood sugar.  I don’t usually test my sugar when it’s low, because I know it’s low, so I just try and treat it and test later.  This time, I decided to test my blood sugar before drinking down two big ole’ glasses of orange juice.  The meter said, 41.  That is the lowest blood sugar that I have ever had.  I had one at 45 a few years ago, but nothing lower than that.

It took me 2 glasses of orange juice, 7 munchkins (they were left over from Sunday breakfast) and a granola bar.  After I felt good enough to allow myself to go back to sleep, I woke up 6 hours later and my blood sugar was 161.  So, even after all that sugar that went into my body, I didn’t even really over-treat the low like I do every single other time.

What is the lowest blood sugar that you ever had?

Juicebox to the Rescue

Last week I started using Apidra again, at least for a little while.  I sort of have a mix and match bag of insulin right now.  A little Apidra, a bit of Novolog and some Humalog sprinkled here and there.  I am not switching back and forth, but once I’m out of Apidra, I will move to Novolog until that is gone and so on and so forth.  Thanks to an angel of insulin, I have some extra insulin for about a 1-2 month supply.  Let’s get back on topic.

Since, I was using Apidra again, my bg was going low in the morning time because I needed to adjust my basals again.  As I have written about before, I use less insulin, smaller basal rates, when I am using Apidra, which is why I want to use it.  I went through a whole bag of the super-sized Skittles within 3 days because of the lows that I was getting.  Now, if you haven’t eaten about 4 handfulls of Skittles in a while, then you may not know, but your jaw completely locks up and it’s nearly impossible to continue to chew.  I knew that I needed a different form of sugar, so I decided that I would go buy some more orange juice.  The problem with the orange juice though is that I drink it even when my bg isn’t low because I just love orange juice. Read More

One Heck of a Dexcom Ride

The other day I went on one heck of a Dexcom ride.  I don’t like roller coasters because I have a serious fear of heights and have a firm belief that my death will come by way of a poisonous snake bite or a roller coaster coming off the tracks.  Therefore, I avoid roller coasters.  However, I cannot avoid those diabetes blood sugar roller coasters at all times.  Even though I try to, they still occur.

I haven’t had one in a while, but boy did I have one on Wednesday.  Tuesday night I was high, near the 300’s.  By the time I woke up in the morning, I had it down to about 120-ish.  Then I ate lunch and it went back up.  Right before dinner I went low to about 60-ish.  I was going to be eating chicken and rice, so I figured I would wait until halfway through my meal to take my insulin because I didn’t want to go super low while I was eating.  That’s when the steep increase at the beginning of the coaster started.  I went from a bg of 70 to a bg of 370 in under an hour.  I have NEVER gone that high, that fast.  In fact, I didn’t even think it was possible.  If it wasn’t for testing my blood sugar to make sure my Dexcom was giving me the right numbers, I would have never believed it. Read More

New Diabetes Movie: The Longest Swim

I was sent a link to check out this movie from somebody else who has diabetes.  The movie right now is looking for funding, which is why it is listed on Kick Starter.  I know that I am very critical of any movie that is based around diabetes because we all want them to get it right.  This is based on a true story, and the person with diabetes in the movie was involved in the process of the movie making.  I have embedded it below, also will include a link.

Here is the quick synopsis.  Two guys, best friends, one diabetic, one not.  They are out at a cabin.  Friend with diabetes has a high blood sugar before he goes to bed and takes insulin to correct.  Non-diabetic friend finds him having a seizure because his sugar went too low in the middle of the night.  There’s only one way to get help…. swim across the lake.

Let me know your thoughts, opinions, feedback, etc.  If you feel it’s a good movie, I encourage you to support and share the video.

Here is the link:

Here is the video:

Car Accidents and Diabetes Emergency Kits

Some of you may know from yesterday that I got into a car accident.  Let’s start out first, that I am ok and I, nor the other person involved in the accident were injured, that is always the most important part whenever anybody is involved in a crash.  Long story short, the guy was at a stop sign and he tried to cut across 6 lanes of traffic, except I just so happened to be driving through the second lane and he hit the back door of my car.  There was no spinning out cutting into the other lane, luckily.  The long part was after I called 911 and was waiting for the police to come to the scene of the accident.  That is when I started getting nervous, anxious and felt like my sugar was going to be dropping.  I didn’t bring breakfast with me yesterday because I was going to stop and get breakfast on the way there, so I was hoping that my sugar didn’t go low.

I also didn’t have any Skittles or any candy because I was going to be stopping at the gas station to get some at lunch time.  This is another reason why you should always something on you because you don’t know when some sort of emergency is going to happen, you could be stuck on the side of the interstate or the Turnpike, or even at a golf course and not have any access to candy or juice.  Time to make a new emergency diabetes kit because I haven’t carried one around for several years (I usually always have candy in my laptop bag that goes most places with me, except for on the weekends).

This leads me to know what all of you have in your diabetes emergency kit?  Glucose tabs, juice, candy, Glucagon kit, whatever.  What kind of bag do you carry it in?  Do you take a larger kit for different situations such as in the car for a road trip, and then a smaller one when you go into the mall or store?

Love to hear your thoughts.

Scary Low Blood Sugar at the Driving Range

Low Blood Sugar at Golf CourseToday was such a beautiful day and I was sitting at home just doing laundry and cleaning up all day, so I decided to take some time to go to the driving range.  I haven’t been able to golf for a few weeks and I have a golf tournament the second weekend of April, so I need to get back into golf shape.  Overall, not too bad.

Anyway, before I went there I had some chicken and pasta for lunch. I didn’t test my blood sugar before I went out to the driving range, not a good idea.  Once I got there, it was really hot out there, so I began to sweat right away and I could feel the blood sugar dropping.  I didn’t bring any candy or Gatorade with me, because I figured it would only take me about 15-20 minutes to go throw the bucket of balls.

I hit the first 10-15 balls normally, and then I felt it getting really low, so I didn’t want to exert too much energy, so I did a quick hit drill where I just lined the balls up and continued in a swinging motion.  This helped me get through the bucket balls a lot faster.  Now I had to drive home.  Luckily I live on the golf course and I didn’t decide to walk there like I initially was going to do. As soon as I got home, I drank some orange juice and ate a few cookies and then it was all good.

The blood sugar dropped quickly because I didn’t think it was that bad, and I just spent the money to buy driving range golf balls, so I didn’t want to just not hit them.  I know exactly what you’re thinking, because I thought the same thing, is a $4.00 bucket of driving range golf balls worth passing out from a low blood sugar?  Absolutely not!

I survived it, and sometimes I test my limits, but I know that I shouldn’t.

I am typing this at almost midnight Saturday night, and it is a lot more relaxing writing blog posts on a Saturday night then going out I think.

Tomorrow I’m going to tell you about a diet idea that one of my co-workers came up with because he was concerned about my eating habits and my diabetes.